Not every one of us considers the fact that life is a wonderful gift of God and it should not just be cherished but be lived to the fullest. Living life to the fullest should mean making the most out of each opportunity for oneself as well as others. This also implies being concerned about welfare and prosperity of others in a way as one looks out for one’s own self. Notwithstanding the fact that life should be lived to the fullest focusing on its positive aspects, some people do not seem to understand well enough the real meaning andpurpose of life. They live life with hatred and jealousy and make the lives of others a nuisance. Hatred and jealousy are not rare emotions, but are common and many of us experience them every now and then. We live in a world where feelings of jealousy and envy can cause us to become victims blocking our world from being benefited by many marvelous gifts. So, in order that life be lived satisfyingly, there is a need for handling people who are haters and jealous. If you feel trapped by situation in which you experience people who treat you in a hateful way or act jealous around you, you would of course want to figure out how to untrap it. This article might be of little help with that.
An unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger, fear, which is a basis to lead towards a strong feeling of grievance and displeasure, anger, that in turn leads to the feeling of intense hostility towards somebody, being triggered by jealousy, hatred that ultimately directs one to suffering. Precisely, "Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering." It is thus Jealousy is a form of hate; it’s more like envy; Jealousy and envy are in some ways interchangeable. There can be several reasons for a person to be jealous of another person and the intensity of jealousy differs from situation to situation. Jealousy is a negative emotion which makes a person emotionally imbalanced.
Envy is hatred or bitterness towards another person. It stems from a feeling of inadequacy meaning it comes when a person feels that he does not have things that another person has – It is to desire something possessed by somebody else. One can envy someone else’s success, looks, wealth, intelligence or educational background.
Take it as example, both A and B are friends. If A is more successful in his life than B or he has a nice new car, B, instead of being happy for his friend’s success, makes disparaging remarks about A or his car or his success. This way, jealousy motivates B to look for imperfections or to find faults with A for a variety of reasons. So, envy is when somebody dislikes another person because of what he has and what he does and that he or she neither has it nor does it. Envy is the resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting somebody else's success, good fortune, qualities, or possessions.
Including the aforementioned reasons, one of the primary reasons for what drives people to feel jealous is that they compare themselves to other people and when they find themselves that they are no longer in competition with others they get sensitive, they feel insecure or inferior and so they start displaying eccentric and odd behavior. Sometimes they are driven by their jealous attitude in such a way that they pass passive-aggressive comments like spears.
However, one should not be jealous of others and if he becomes a victim of jealousy, he or she should know how to deal with it. Below are some ways to deal with jealousy effectively.
One of the best ways to deal with such situations in which you are being victimized by jealousy is to find the real reason and the root cause of it. Finding the specific triggers, reasons or roots for feelings of jealousy will not only help you deal with situations effectively, but it will also instill confidence in you to handle the situations ina more appropriate manner. It is thus important to understand the root of the jealousy, so that you can decide how to move forward and come out of that particular situation.
Everything will be fine as long as you are in a position to battle jealousy by finding its roots and reasons. What if there is no good reason for people to feel jealous or angry and you find people around you who tend to treat you in a hateful way with no real cause. If you ever wonder what to do when someone is jealous of you with no good reason; reacts in a destructive way; makes accusations or sarcastic comments; expresses the words that mean the opposite of what he or she seems to say and is intended to mock or deride or intentionally says things to provoke a negative response from you, there are two ways as mentioned below to handle the situation and not everyone knows either of them.
One way is to do opposite of what a jealous person does – without a feeling of disgust and hatred - And neither should you be influenced by them. If somebody does something bad to you, such as those mentioned above, then, being humble, friendly, kind and calm is the right thing to do. Thus, in these surrounding conditions, doing good things for such bad reasons can be a good way not only to enhance their internal motivation to reduce bias and prejudice, but help them often to eliminate jealousy. So, what goes in this saying is true in this context. “Never hate those people who are jealous of you but respect their jealousy because they are the ones who think that you are better than them.”
Sometimes jealous and hurtful behavior of others can damage your well-being and positive feelings. Thus, the best remedial action that the situation demands is to ignore the jealous people completely, as this has been pointed out in these words, “Ignore those people who are constantly talking about you behind your back because they are right where they belong. BEHIND YOU.” In this way, ignoring the jealous, covetous and haters is a best way. The important reason to do so is that you need to go with your own business and you deserve better. Refusing to notice or not acknowledging what they say and do and paying no attention to them will not let them affect you and neither will ruin your composure and peace of mind.
Regardless of the reasons why people get so jealous, you can still be polite and deal with them by making them feel important and good around you. Think that it is pretty natural to feel what they are feeling. Shifting the point of view, instead of getting upset, working to create good relationship with them will enable you to stay happy.This strategy seems to be a bit difficult though, but, believe me it will work out tremendously for both you and the people around you who get jealous at you. However, a good point to be noted is that people feel jealous of you, because you have made a value, as it goes in this saying. “If people are jealous of you, it means you are worth something.”
K. A. Fareed (Fareed Siddiqui)
Writer, Trainer, Author, Software Developer
BBA, MBA-Finance, MPhil-Financial Management, (PhD-Management)
Post Graduate Diploma in Computer Applications and Programming
Level 1 - Leadership and Management ILM – UK
Individual Member of Institute of Management Consultants of India